Shrinking Sisters

This is more than just an ad for butter: A rant for the weekend

Watch this video and then we'll talk:

Lately, I've become dismayed at the lengths people will go to put together a "healthy" meal. They'll jump through a dozen hoops to approximate the taste and texture of bread, pasta, meat, ice cream, even a damn cup of coffee.

Kevlar is meant to be bulletproof -- coffee is not. I seriously doubt Fred Flintstone was downing a 300-calorie mug of oily coffee before heading over to the Slate Rock and Gravel Co.

If you want ice cream/a burger/spaghetti bolognese/coffee with something in it, then have it -- just don't have them all at once.

I don't have "diet butter spray" in the house. I have expensive, grass-fed, organic real butter than you can't spray (or even spread for that matter). Frankly, I think that makes it an even better diet food. What better deterrant to using butter than the 7-dollar-ice-cold butter missle defense system?

There's also no gross sugar-free yogurt in the house.

Wait, I take that back. I have a quart of it but it's called "plain" and it's awesome with a teaspoon of honey and a tablespoon of chopped walnuts on it.

What that delightful little ad up there so beautifully illustrates is the magic of real food. The woman in the ad isn't busting open a box of Tuna Helper or reconstituting a package of Suddenly Salad (yes, it's a thing).

She's also not gnawing on the stick of butter like a Snickers bar.

No, she's practicing what I like to call extreme moderation. While preparing her real food for a real meal, she's having a little smidgen of butter on a piece of bread.

Call the gluten police!

(That's a whole other can o' worms that I won't get into but, yeah, Americans eat too much glutinous food in general and we should probably eat less bready stuff, but I'll give you my pizza when you pry it from my cold, dead, slightly greasy hands.)

If you have to put air quotes around your recipes, if dinner feels like a workaround, then are you really enjoying it? Food should be enjoyable, not a freakin' science experiment.

I'll end with Michael Pollan's reminder:

Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.

(And maybe a little smidgen of butter.)

Rant over.

 

Words for the weekend: Bullies called him 'Pork Chop'

As someone who frequently heard "Gail the Whale" in elementary school, I can relate.

 

Words for the weekend: A Turbo Jam haiku

Pulled out the old Turbo Jam DVD set and did the "Punch, Kick & Jam" workout, which I don't think I've ever done before. Fifty-five minutes later, I found a new "go-to" workout and was inspired to write a haiku to my new fave.

A dose of super-tough love from Steve Siebold

In Steve Siebold's world, there are no Halloween leftovers.

I love getting press releases from Steve Siebold's publicist. If you're not familar with Siebold, he wrote a book a few years ago called Die Fat or Get Tough: 101 Differences in Thinking Between Fat People and Fit People.

 

There's no other way to say it: He's a weight-loss hard ass.

In his world, there is no slippage, corner cutting, no "just this once." And that's hard and it sucks.

That's why I love the press releases. They're like a bucket of cold water, a smack upside the head.

Today, I'm offering his tips for avoiding holiday weight gain. You may not agree with his all-or-nothing methodology, but he offers a no-nonsense approach to just getting it done.

This is from Steve:

• 99% compliance on a diet is failure, even at the holidays! Sounds harsh, but if you’re going to get fit, it’s all or nothing. If you are in a committed relationship you wouldn’t cheat on your significant other just one time, so why would you cheat on something as important as your diet?
• Before you put anything in your mouth, always ask yourself, “How is this food going to impact my health?”
• If you’re on a diet during the holidays, don’t look at dieting as drudgery, but see it as a strategy for a lifetime to keep you healthy, looking good and feeling great.
• Expect challenges such as cravings, and when this happens, have a plan in place to push forward and stay compliant.
• Find happiness in the holidays not from food, but in time spent with friends and family creating a lifetime of memories and new traditions.
• Realize that ultimately being fit and healthy is completely your responsibility, and blaming the holidays for your weight gain is just as bad as blaming other outside factors the rest of the year such as restaurants, the food manufacturers and portion sizes.

A Halloween-lean pumpkin smoothie

Leftover canned pumpkin has been staring me in the face every time I open the fridge. Sure, I can stir it into pasta sauce and annoy the family with my experiement but let's try it again in a smoothie.

I say "again" because the last time I concocted a pumpkin smoothie I thought "If a half cup is good, a full cup is better!" Uh, it's not. It's a beautiful orange and pretty gross.

So this time I got the proportions and flavors just right in my smoothie, which I call:

Halloween-Lean Pumpkin Smoothie

• 1/2 cup pumpkin puree
• 1/2 cup almond/rice/soy/hemp/oat/cow/whatever milk
• 1 scoop vanilla whey protein
• 1 frozen banana
• 1 tablespoon real maple syrup ("pancake syrup" should be against the law)
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice (or a combo of nutmeg, cloves, cinnamon, allspice and ginger)
• Crushed ice

Blend and slurp.

 

Back to the farmers market

Haven't been to the Plantation Farmers Market in ages, but I had been watching a Cooking Channel show on food trucks and was inspired to check out our local food sources.

Last time I went, the produce section had been joined by a few new vendors -- a hummus guy, a baker, and some plant sellers.

But, wow! Lots more to choose from today.

Nonna Rizzo's, a really creative lineup of sauces. I bought a puttanesca and one called Ceci della Basilicata -- made with chickpeas, plum tomatoes, garlic and rosemary.

There were homemade pickles (Pickled Pink, love the name), orchids, local honey, smoked fish, dog treats, even a barbecue truck. And, of course, the produce.

See those avocados at the bottom of the photo at right? There are California ones and Florida ones. California ones are darker, smaller and higher in fat than the often football-sized Florida ones. Their texture is firmer and the fruit is sweeter, so it can be used in savory and sweet dishes, like...

Avocado Italian ice! That's Tessi, from The Chill Stop, scooping me out a cup of Florida avocado Italian ice. I had walked up to their cart and I must have had "OMG, avocado Italian ice!" written all over my face because her Chill Stop partner John said "wanna try a  sample of the avocado?"

It was creamy, light, sweet and not at all like frozen guacamole.

So I walked out with sauce and cookies and had avocado Italian ice and a slice of tortilla espanola for lunch.

Where were all the fresh veggies? Those had to wait until I got to The Fresh Market (I was market hopping today). The farmers market selection was a little thin -- guess it's the end of the growing season. But I did pick up some nice organic collards and Perfect Foods bars at The Fresh Market.

But it's great to chat with and buy from locals -- the honey people let me sample some very cool varieties -- avocado, local wildflower and even mangrove and palmetto honeys. There aren't any mystery ingredients, nothing's overprocessed -- it's all real food and real friendly.

And here's this week's HealthBuzz:

Absurdist fitness goal of the day

"I will run to the weiner carved into the sidewalk in front of the middle school. Then I will recover and run to the other weiner carved into the sidewalk."

So, I did some running. Didn't enjoy it but I ran a bit. Gotta get the furnace burning hotter (and not with sidewalk weenies).

Words for the weekend, from Tony Horton

"Write down how you feel when you blow off your workout. Write down how you feel the moment your workout is over. Compare the two."

-- Tony Horton

A rant: America needs unwrapped candy like it needs another chin

Feast your eyes on the ad above, which I found in today's coupon circular.

Oh, thank goodness someone came up with a way to take those pesky and time-consuming wrappers off candy and miniaturize them so that consumers can shove fistfuls in their pie holes while watching TV.

Better yet: Strap the bag to your head, feedbag style.

Ever hear of Brian Wansink? He wrote a book a few years back called Mindless Eating, which outlines how people are snookered into buying and eating food in ways they are unaware. One of his studies was to serve people chicken wings, in two different ways: In one scenerio, the waiter would haul away the gnawed-off chicken bones as people would finish them. At the other table, the remains of the day would stay on the table.

Guess which table ate more chicken wings? Yep, the one without the "evidence."

It's actually a good thing to individually wrap candy. You have physical proof, then, that you gobbled down five Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. All you have left with those Minis is one small, empty bag.

"Oh, but they're so cute and tiny, just like baby candy!" Bully for you if you can nibble a couple pieces and put the bag away (at least the bag is resealable). My guess is that you can't -- can't, can't, can't.

Why does candy have to be convenient? Isn't it convenient enough, showing up in hardware store checkout lanes and office supply stores?

Real conversation last week:

Me: "I'm going to pick up some printer ink. I'll be right back."

The kid: "Pick me up some Combos!"

Why does my kid know that the local OfficeMax is where you pick up printer ink and snack food?

Snack food needs to be less convenient.

/end rant

Here's that chicken wing study:

Fighting to be hungry

Finally watched the documentary Surfwise, which DirecTV was showing on its 101 channel. The movie, from a couple years ago, is about a doctor who decided to chuck it all, buy a camper and raise his family of nine kids in it while driving all over North and South America to catch waves.

Ol' Doc Paskowitz was pretty odd but some of his quotes were spot-on:

"The primitive man had to fight every day not to be hungry, and the modern man has to fight every day to be hungry."

Is that brilliant or what? Granted, the guy had his flaws in the parenting department, but his mantra was "Eat clean, live clean, surf clean," which was decades ahead of the clean eating movement.

Fighting to be hungry.

Let that sink in as you follow diets that tell you to eat every two to three hours.

"What does feeling hungry feel like?" I asked my husband. He laughed -- not at me, but at the absurdity of the question.

"I guess when I'm really hungry, I get pains in my stomach," he replied.

Earlier, my son asked me for lunch. It was 3 p.m. and he was so engrossed in playing video games that he didn't realize he hadn't eaten lunch. But when he stopped, he realized he was hungry. (Don't worry, I'm not starving my kid -- he had a late breakfast.)

I'm never hungry. Sure, I think I am as I bolt out of my office chair and walk to the kitchen to visit the fridge. But am I actually exhibiting symptoms of real hunger? Most of the time, no. I made this little graphic the other day to document how I felt as I stood in the kitchen, forcing myself not to "eat for sport":

That's what was going on in my mind as I stood in the middle of the kitchen, twisting myself away from the refrigerator door. That's exactly what it felt like: big, pointy, all-cap, red words. It was 11 a.m., just a couple hours after breakfast and only an hour until lunch.

In working to undo decades (and decades and decades) of bad habits, I need to remind myself that permanent change isn't going to happen overnight or in a week.

But this week, I am going to fight every day to be hungry (or at least eat when I truly am hungry). My sensor is beyond shot, and I need to repair it.

I didn't lose any weight this week, even with a great new plan. I didn't gain weight, but this morning I gained something even better.

Here's the trailer for the film: