Friday weigh-ins for the win
Tunes for Tuesday: On Our Way, by The Royal Concept

I feel totally locked in

Surfboard of success
Driving home from the grocery store last night, I thought to myself “I am totally locked in.”

I was sipping on a bottle of Propel that I just purchased, and thinking about all the good decisions I made this weekend.

I took advantage of the fantastic weather and walked outside four times last week, logging nearly 12 miles. I did a little “functional fitness” Sunday afternoon and my husband and I washed our cars in the driveway, old-school with buckets and hoses.

Locked in.

Fridays are our night to dine out, and we went to Chipotle. I got the burrito bowl with chicken but unlike most weeks, I left off the guacamole because I had guacamole at lunch (those 100-calorie packs of Wholly Guacamole are staples in our house). I also left off the cheese and sour cream, but I usually do that.

Locked in.

I’ve been getting in my food and tracking before 9 p.m. and making a big mug of decaf green tea every night. I admit – I really want to eat, but that’s not my plan.

Locked in.

(Well, except last night when MS Word completely ATE the first draft of this blog post and I completely ATE a bag of Popcorners. Totally rage ate.)

But right back on the horse (and hitting “save”).

OK, here’s where this blog post gets complicated.

I had seen some online discussions of “healthy living” bloggers who were anything but healthy looking. They were shockingly thin, yet still restricting their eating and overexercising.

That’s when I thought to myself “If I could harness just a tiny fraction of their obsessive dedication …”

Is that wrong? Unhealthy? I’m conflicted.

I have a lifelong tendency to stray from my given plan, no matter how well I’m doing at the time. It’s just how I’m wired. I marvel at people’s sticktoitiveness.

But those driven, skinny women … how do they do it?

Don’t get me wrong – I don’t want to be skinny. Hell, my goal weight right now is 199, which is far from skinny, although on me it’s a size 12. Besides, I don’t believe it is genetically possible for this size 12 shoe-wearin’ Eastern European chick to be skinny.

Because as locked in as I am right now, it could unlock just as quickly. (See Popcorners demolition.)

I've gotta be honest -- I'm envious of their dedication, as misguided as it is.

After Friday’s weigh-in, I’m lower than I’ve been in months. I’m riding a wave of motivation, but there are gobs of seaweed heading toward me, threatening to knock me off my Surfboard of Success.

Learning how to stay on this surfboard while dodging the seaweed (or Popcorners, or what have you) is my biggest challenge.

So I dug out my Endorphin Warrior bracelet I bought last year and snapped it on. 

Relentless bracelet
... because I am.