Manny Ramirez lives a few miles west of me cooling his heels in his mansion while he waits out his 50-game suspension for testing positive for performance-enhancing whatevers (Steroids? Fertility drugs? Mentos?). So I figured it'd be safe to smuggle something into the Marlins-Dodgers game last night and not have spies on my case.
I'm totally on the up and up with my water bottle. You're allowed to bring in your own water at Dolphin Stadium (I'm NOT calling it Land Shark!) as long as the bottle is sealed. So I bring in the biggest bottle I can find: Last night it was a 1.5-liter Crystal Geyser that I paid a whopping 60 cents for at Big Lots.
So what did I smuggle in? An Arnold's Sandwich Thins, multigrain variety. Healthy food is not cheap or easy to come by at most sporting events, so sometimes you have to resort to drastic measures. The Sandwich Thin, encased in a Ziploc bag and slipped into a pocket of my handbag, slid past security unnoticed. Bwaaaa haa haa!
I was wearing pants that I haven't worn in a few years and I wasn't going to spoil my weight-loss buzz for a big fluffy bun. Arnolds Sandwich Thins are only 100 calories with 4 grams of protein and 5 grams of fiber. They look like Big Papi sat on your sandwich.
I bought my $8 chicken sandwich (with extra lettuce and tomato), an $8 fresh fruit cup (which I split with my son) and proceeded to disassemble my sandwich. I discarded the giant kaiser roll and replaced it with my Sandwich Thin, plopped on the veggies, squirted on mustard and a sprinkling of banana peppers and I was good to go.
